If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize