their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
