it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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