i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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