Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
