You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
