What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
