no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
