Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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