love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
