we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
