no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
