remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize