Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You are a genius and a whore.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
