Those balls look pretty dangerous.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
