ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize