I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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