Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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