You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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