Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
