And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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