what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
