is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
