Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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