You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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