why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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