I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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