do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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