she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This is the high leading the old right now
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
