did you get engaged???
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
