well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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