So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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