even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
