are you so shy because you have an std?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
