So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize