these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
