a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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