if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
that's an acceptable place to lick
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
