i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
