you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
