the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
