dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
