Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize