i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
