we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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