Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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