do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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