Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize