I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
