how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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