I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
