The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
