your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so let's talk penis.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
