He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have feelings that need drinking.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
