Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize