We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize