Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
