i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
