you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
