Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
