doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
