I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
