I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
